Usually the end of a calendar year brings moments of reflection of the months that are now in our rearview mirror, and as I look back at 2012 I see a year that has made me a bit more worn. There is a song by one of my favorite bands-Tenth Avenue North that has the same title. I heard it with different ears the other day--you know the ones that make you hear a song for the first time-even though it really wasn't the first time hearing it. The lyrics just spoke to me in such a powerful way-they said exactly how I've been feeling over this past year so perfectly, the tears started to run down my face.
Worn
(Mike Donehey, Jeff Owen, Jason Ingram)
I'm tired, I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I'm worn
I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
My prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn
Even before the day begins
I'm worn
I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn
So Heaven come and flood my eyes
Yes, all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though, I'm worn
I'm worn
It's not just the events in my life that make me feel worn...it's the struggles and losses in others as well. It seems that all around me is death, loss, tragedy...mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, cousins, children-all lost. And I'm overwhelmed. One of the gifts that I believe that God has blessed me with is a heart of compassion and empathy. I don't say this to boast...not in the least, I don't know about you, but I can completely fall apart with grief when it's not really my own to grieve. God gives me the eyes to see the empty chair at the table, the gifts that will never be given, the birthdays that won't be celebrated, the Christmas programs that won't be enjoyed, the car seats that don't have a little body to keep safe,the songs that will never be sung,the pictures that will never be taken. And I weep. I weep for those who's grief is just too much somedays...for those who's world is a little darker now.
So during this Christmas season I hope you take time to remember those who are dealing with that emptiness and pray for them. And if you are one of those people, I hope you know that I weep for you-I pray for you-and I love you. I hope that you take this following verse has a note of encouragement...
Philippians: "4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
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